How to Set Boundaries at Work – Both at a 9-5 and With Freelancing

Have you ever felt overworked, undervalued, and just completely stressed out at work?

Do you find yourself answering emails and calls outside of work hours, or working overtime on the weekends, just to maintain your work load?

Do your bosses often disregard your job duties, asking more and more of you, but don’t pay you accordingly?

Unfortunately, all of these experiences are common in the workplace, whether you’re at a 9 to 5, or a freelancer.

However, just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s right. Being stressed, undervalued, and overworked can easily lead to burn out and feelings of resentment, which your managers or clients can pick up on.

Here’s how you can set healthy boundaries at work so you can start putting yourself first.

Get to the Root of the Problem

 
Before you can talk to your bosses or clients, you need to first get to the root of the problem so you can communicate it clearly.

When you’re in the mindset of feeling like you’re working yourself to death, it can be difficult to see through the fog, especially if all you’ve been doing is work, work, work.

Even though it may be difficult, try and take a step back from your work situation for just a moment to reflect on what’s been going on.

Have you taken on additional responsibility? Additional hours? Both? Have your bosses or clients seemed dismissive of you having a life outside of work? Do they not respect your time, even though they know you have other responsibilities?

Think about what, exactly, has been bothering you. Write down any instances you can remember in which you felt overburdened.

This reflection can help you figure out what the issue is, and why you’re bothered by it.

If you can’t take a break, at least keep a notepad or document open on your computer so you can take notes when something happens. For example, maybe your boss asks you to work late, cover someone’s shift, or come in on your day off. Write that down so you can track it.

Be Honest With Yourself

 
Okay, now you know what your problem is, but we’re not done reflecting just yet.

Why? Because sometimes, the problem isn’t with your bosses or your clients…sometimes, it’s with you.

Hear me out on this – I’m speaking from personal experience. I know this isn’t true for everyone, so if it isn’t, feel free to skip ahead.

But if you’re the kind of person who has a hard time saying “no,” then you should read on.

Back when I worked a 9 to 5 job, I felt undervalued and overworked most of the time. My coworkers felt similarly. Of course, we blamed this on our bosses. They kept hiring salespeople, but wouldn’t hire more support, so it all fell on us.

It took us a while to bring this issue up with our bosses. We kept saying “yes” to the additional responsibility (or stayed silent) because we were hard workers. We wanted the company to grow, and we wanted to advance.

However – and this is key – if you stay silent, or keep saying “yes,” then your bosses aren’t aware that there’s a problem.

I know it might seem like it should be obvious to them, but it might not be unless you have a very perceptive manager.

In my case, our bosses were also running around like crazy, trying to figure out how to build and grow their business. They were trying to figure out how to best train the new salespeople they brought on. They were trying to make sure things were running smoothly, and were often taking on more than one role themselves.

And whenever they checked in on us, we said everything was okay, because we didn’t want to cause them worry or make it seem like we were complainers.

We brought the extra stress and work upon ourselves. It was a hard realization to swallow.

The same goes for freelancing. I know many, many freelancers who have an extremely difficult time saying “no” to more work, especially because it can be unstable.

Unfortunately, we say “yes” until we burn out and learn the hard way that we can’t help everyone and be superman/woman. Your clients likely have no idea what’s going on in your work life; they only know the side they see, and that’s one interaction of many during the day or week.

So put yourself in the shoes of your boss or problem client. Have you set the wrong expectations by not setting any boundaries? If you answer emails or calls outside of work hours and no one is forcing you to do it, then you might need to have an honest conversation with yourself, and then attempt to re-set expectations and boundaries.

Know Your Rights

 
If the problem isn’t with you, then it might very well be that your bosses or clients are overstepping their boundaries.

Most employees don’t know their rights in the workplace. They allow their superiors to bully them into doing something, and then do it out of fear they’ll get fired.

That’s not a fun position to be in. You never want to have the added stress of thinking you’ll lose your job if you don’t do something like answer a call outside of work hours, or finish a project that causes you to work overtime without getting compensated.

Your first stop could be HR, depending on who that is. I know at smaller companies, the head of HR might actually be your boss. So if that’s the case, you might want to try and research your state’s laws on the matter.

I bring this up because some instances of bosses overstepping boundaries can be serious. For example, maybe you’re an overnight worker, or you work really long hours, and your boss is trying to get you to work even more, when you should be resting. What if your position requires you to be alert on the job? Then safety protocols aren’t being followed.

Maybe you’re entitled to medical leave, but your boss is insisting that you work.

Or, maybe you’re a freelancer, but your client has W2 employee expectations that you shouldn’t be filling.

Either way, these are issues that go beyond overstepping boundaries, and you need to get them straightened out, especially if other workers are being put in similar positions.

The United States Department of Labor has an entire section on Workplace Rights and Benefits that you should take a look at, and you should also try and find your state’s Department of Labor website for more detailed information. Look for a URL that ends in .gov or .us to make sure it’s legitimate.

NOLO has some good resources on this topic as well.

Finally, if you’re a freelancer, look at the contract you signed with your client. (You should be operating with some type of contract!) Are they violating anything that was agreed upon in writing?

If you don’t have a contract, try reviewing these IRS guidelines that stipulate that you’re an independent worker – not an employee.

If you find that your employer is infringing on your rights, then gather proof that that’s the case. You may want to consult with a lawyer before broaching the topic, depending on how serious it is. We can’t offer any legal advice here, but bringing it up the wrong way (in an accusing tone) may put your boss on the defensive.

I recommend you continue researching to see how to handle this. I simply wanted to bring up rights as it’s an issue that gets glossed over.

Be Honest With Your Managers

 
Okay, now that you’ve brushed up on your rights, and know what you need to address with your boss (or client), it’s time to have a chat. Ask them ahead of time if they have a moment to talk this week. You don’t want to ambush them, and this gives you more time to prepare.

Try not to be nervous, though. If your bosses or clients get upset by you wanting a life, and they’re violating some serious boundaries, then you might be better off without them. (To that end, always make sure you have a back up plan or emergency fund in place.)

Many freelancers refuse to work with potential clients who have displayed red flags. For example, maybe you respond to their initial inquiry about working with you, and then they ask to call you immediately, and get upset that you’re not available right then and there.

You don’t want to deal with that, and you shouldn’t have to. The same applies here. You’re allowed to have a life outside of work, and you should be taking breaks, getting rest, and getting paid for the hours you work.

Bringing your documented list of instances that have bothered you may help keep you on track, too. It helps to bring up specifics as your boss may or may not remember them.

Try and create an open dialogue and let them know how you’ve been feeling. Most employers and clients want you to be happy – that’s how the best work is done! Like I said before, they may have been totally clueless as to what was going on, or they may have thought you were okay with additional hours/responsibility/etc.

Once you lay out the issues, propose a plan. This is where you need to work on setting those boundaries. Let them know, for example, that it’s not okay for them to call you between certain hours, or on certain days.

Let them know you can no longer stay later, or let them know that they need to start paying you (whether that’s with PTO or monetarily) when you work overtime. Buying you lunch isn’t going to cut it.

To be clear, you don’t need to pour out your heart and let them know everything that’s going on in your life. Like needing to be home by 5pm so you can pick your child up from after-school care. Just leave it at “I need to leave by 5pm, which were the hours we originally agreed upon.”

If you’re re-setting boundaries and expectations, you can have a similar chat where you let them know that you understand you’ve made yourself very available, but that will be changing because your priorities have changed. You can tell them not to expect answers to emails and calls outside of certain hours.

Hopefully the conversation is constructive and your boss or client is empathetic. Unless you work in an industry where working extra is a given, they should be!

Monitor Changes

 
When you bring up those boundaries in your meeting, make sure you write them down and have your boss or client agree to them. That can be verbal, but it at least makes things crystal clear so you don’t have to second-guess yourself after the fact.

This also makes it easier for you to monitor if those boundaries are being respected. If they’re not, it’s time to have another talk, and another talk may be necessary to get the point across. Again, bosses and clients may be busy – if you’ve been doing things a certain way for a long time, it may take them some time to break out of habits.

The same goes for you. If, like me, you have a habit of working too much, you might not follow your own boundaries. You need to keep yourself in check!

If you told everyone you’re no longer answering emails and calls after 7pm, or on the weekend, shut your email off. Do not check it during those times. If possible, turn off notifications on your phone during those hours. Do whatever it takes to stay within the boundaries you set! If you don’t follow them, then you have no one but yourself to blame for your unhappiness.

Consider a Job Switch (or Dropping a Client)

 
Some managers and clients simply have unreasonable expectations. Or maybe your priorities have drastically changed, and you and your company or client are no longer a good fit.

It happens. If you’ve had the feeling that it might be time to switch your job, then start searching for a new one.

If you’ve brought up issues to your manager or client multiple times, and no changes are made, then you should also consider switching your job or dropping that client.

When you have to work with someone day in and day out who doesn’t respect your time or the value you bring to the table, it’s time to find someone else who will.

 
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I can’t tell you how important it is to set boundaries in life, especially at work. This is a huge reason why so many people are unhappy with their work-life balance, or lack thereof.

It has to start with you. Your bosses or clients won’t magically see a boundary drawn around you one day. You need to make it known that you’re not happy with certain actions they’re taking.

 
Have you ever had to set or re-set workplace boundaries? How have you dealt with it? When did you realize you needed to set boundaries at work?
 

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