Financial decisions can be very hard to make in your twenties. In your twenties you don’t know everything and you’re trying to decide which financial decisions are best for you. It’s common to be unsure of yourself when trying to make hard decisions. So when you need help making financial decisions, who do you call? You call your parents. Sometimes having your parents influence your financial decisions can have a negative effect on your finances. Here’s five reasons why you shouldn’t let your parents influence your financial decisions.
Parents Make Mistakes
Okay the secret’s out the bag. Your parents make mistakes. They’re not perfect and they’re not always right. I know this can be hard to accept since most people see their parents as wonder woman and superman. It’s easy to accept your parent’s advice as the best advice without question. After all, they’re the ones who taught you to brush your teeth, taught you to play goldfish, and when you had tough times at school, they’re the ones who coached you through it. So, why wouldn’t they be right? Now that you’re older, you have to realize that parents are people too and not all the advice they give you especially with finances, will be right.
I’m sure as a twenty-something year old, you can think of a couple of bad financial decisions that your parents made when you were young. I know I can. My mother has $7,000 worth of fur coats in her closet right now that she never wears. Being financially conscious, I can think of several useful things she could have done with that money. I ask her all the time why would a housewife in a New Jersey suburb need a fur coat. It’s not like we live in Antarctica.
Parents can be Controlling
Allowing your parents to have a great influence on your decision making could be giving them a little more power in your life than they should have. If your parents are telling you when to buy a car or a house, and what bank to open an account with, then they’re trying to control your life.
Sometimes it’s hard for parents to cut the cord and trust you to make decisions on your own. They always want to be involved whether it be by giving you advice or taking it upon themselves to make decisions on your behalf.
Remember how it was when you were sixteen and you wanted to use money from your part-time job to buy a video game and your mother told you to buy school clothes instead? Back then you had no choice but to do it but now you have choices. We’ve all had similar experiences such as the one mentioned. Do you really want the same things to happen in your adult life?
You Have to be Independent
Your financial decisions should be yours to make. You’re the one who has to live with the decisions you make, not your parents. If mom or dad tells you that you need to grow up, buy a house and stop renting with your buddies, who has to pay the mortgage? You have to pay it and you’re the one who will have to save for the down payment. Therefore you’re financial decisions need to be up to you and you should do what’s best to fit your lifestyle.
I know you want to please your parents. Don’t we all? But it’s important to remember that you have to please yourself first. You can’t please everybody. You’re going to have disagreements with your parents and sometimes they won’t understand why you’re making the financial decisions that you are making. And to be totally honest, that’s perfectly fine. You shouldn’t do what mom or dad tells you to just to make them happy.
Sometimes You Have to Hit a Brick Wall
Your parents want the best for you which is why it’s hard for them to cut the cord. They’d hate to see you lose all your money by making poor financial decisions. You may be dependent on their financial advice in order to prevent yourself from running into a brick wall. But what’s a better learning tool then experience? Sometimes your mistakes can be your biggest teacher.
If you’re not allowing yourself to make your own financial decisions, then you could be missing out on some valuable trial and error, learning experiences. Sometimes it’s best to figure things out on your own. Face it your parents won’t always to save you.
Parents Sometimes Value Status
Has your parents been bugging you to buy that house that’s way too big for your taste? Or maybe they want you to buy that car that is way too expensive for your budget? Sounds like your parents may value status. Sometimes, parents pressure their kids to buy material things that may not want, just so that they can brag to their friends about it. Parents who are into materialism and statuses can influence your financial decisions negatively. If you’re listening to your parents and buying things that you can’t afford, you’ll be broke in no time and no one wants to be broke.
Have you allowed your parents to influence your financial decisions? If so, what was the outcome? Do you trust your parent’s financial advice?
Author Bio: Romona Bradham is the owner of Monasez.com, a lifestyle blog that helps millenials achieve financial stability. Romona’s work has been featured on various sites. When she’s not blogging, she enjoys writing fiction novels. You can connect with Romona at info@monasez.com, Google+, and Twitter.
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Great post, Romona! As a parent of four kids, I can say that following your tips is so important for 20somethings. Parents, in spite of their mistakes, usually do have their child’s best interests in mind, so take the good stuff you’ve learned from them, and leave the bad. Finding your own way is necessary if you’re going to learn, like Mona says, from your mistakes.
Thanks Laurie! I agree with you. There’s a saying my grandma always says. It goes you should always take the meat and leave the bone and that’s what you have to do with financial advice from parents.
It definitely can be a difficult balance at times. Like Laurie said, many do have good intentions, but that doesn’t mean they don’t make mistakes. I was on the other end where they did not give me any advice. I paid for that as a result, but I got some very valuable lessons along the way.
I totally understand where youre coming from. I’ve been given advice by my parents but it’s the wrong advice. My parents have always encouraged me to spend above my means and I know they care about me but they just have really bad financial advice. So now I’m learning to save and spend less all on my own.
This is a good one. I have friends who turn to their parents for every financial decision and it’s not always good advice! I worked really hard to be financially independent in my early twenties and while I value my parents’ opinions on money, I am the one who decides what I do with my money. After all, I’m the one who earned it! ;)
I have the same kind of friends.They do the same thing and then wonder why their parents treat them like kids. Best thing to do in your early twenties is too establish yourself as financially independent. My parents didn’t start treating me like an adult until I bought my own car, got my own insurance and was working full time.
To me, the biggest thing here is the independence. Parents can certainly be a helpful resource (though as you say they have their own flaws), but true growth comes from making your own decisions and dealing with and learning from the consequences. If you’re constantly doing what someone else tells you just because they told you, you’ll never learn how to function on your own.
You’re absolutely right Matt. And the more independent decision making you do, the more that you’re parents will recognize you as an adult rather than just their child.
Great post. I’m an only child, in my mid-twenties, and I am extremely close to my parents. Because I communicate with them so often, they naturally hear about the decisions I’m trying to make, and that includes decisions about finances. Thankfully, I’ve only fallen into one of these traps – they’ve never been controlling and from a very early age they’ve encouraged independence (and I think my mom was waiting her whole life to cut the financial cord! Pretty sure she did a happy dance when that one was official), but it’s been very hard for me to come to terms with the fact my parents DO make mistakes. They aren’t infallible. I’ve slowly learned that I can disagree with their opinions or their advice, and I’ve also learned the only one who can make the best decisions for me as an adult is, well, me.
I think disagreeing with parents is the hard part when you’re in your twenties. Because you want to express yourself but your not sure how or if they’ll recieve it or understand. So it can be very difficult.
I totally agree with this post. My parents are awesome and they always have my best interest at heart. However, they take zero chances in their lives and they are extremely cautious about everything. Some of their advice is good and some of it is awful. I just smile and nod! =) Love them, though.
That’s kind of what I do. I just smile and nod. I wouldn’t dare tell them they’re wrong cause then I’d never hear the end of it. Lol
Such a good post. There are definitely elements of both my parents and my in laws that I will definitely emulate and those that I would never do in terms of finances. :)
Hi Budgetblonde.That’s the best part about being an adult is the ability to decide what you should emulate and what you shouldnt. Thanks for commenting !
Parents definitely value status. I’m nervous to see what it’s going to be like when I get married someday and insist on going budget for my wedding. Mama might not be happy.
Brokeandbeau , I think I’m going to have the same problem when I get married. I already know my parents are going to want me to have an extravagant wedding but I’d rather elope. Lol Thanks for your comment!
Nice write-up, Mona. I think getting and considering your parents advice when it comes to financial matters can be useful. That said, it’s still your own responsibility to do any necessary research and fully think over the decision that needs to made. If your parents are hounding or trying to guilt you to make decisions you aren’t comfortable with, that’s a different scenario. But, if you are just bouncing ideas or soliciting feedback, then your parents can be a good sounding board.
Thanks PFUtopia. I totally agree with you.
Parents can definitely have an influence. My father isn’t here anymore, and even though I haven’t seen my mother in over a year, she still tries to influence my finances!
SenseofCents I honestly think parents do that because they really want to be involved in our lives whether we want them to or not.
My dad was always good with money, but the second I called him for advice, I gave he some sense of control, and as a very independent person I found that to be an uneasy situation. Now we have both mellowed out and I don’t mind coming to him for advice and he seems less controlling than he used to. I think it’ sometimes hard for parents to let go.
It’s definitely hard for them to go. Plus parents are always big worriers about they’re children.
I definitely seek financial advice from my parents, but I don’t always do what they suggest.
It’s okay to seek advice occassionally but at the end of the day it has to be your decision.
I have learned to just tune my mom out when she gives financial advice. She has good intentions, but she is a huge enabler and not in the best financial status herself. The other day I called her jokingly because I found a scarf I liked for $300 and she tried to talk me into it! And I’m in a ton of debt!
Erin My Alternate Life That sounds like something my mom would do. lol
Totally agree. Although my parents are pretty smart with their money, you’ve got to consider the generational gap, different personal opinions on money, and in the end make an informed decision on your own.
momoneymohouses You make a very good point about the generation gap. Thanks for the comment!
My parents were always very good with their money. They definitely knew how to stretch a dollar and they saved well for their retirement. My father is of the “mind your own business” mindset, so he rarely gave us kids financial advice, other than when I was a kid and he made sure I saved my money in a bank account. I wish he had shared more advice. I do remember one little bit of advice like it was yesterday. It may not seem like much at all, but he came to visit me at a new house that I owned and I wanted to spend $500 to put a new tree in the backyard because it was so bare and needed shade. He suggested that I not purchase it as that money would be better spent elsewhere, and he was right.
TacklingOurDebt I agree with him on that decision. Thanks for sharing!
Parents can be a great source of financial guidance. However, it’s important to make your own decisions and learn from your own mistakes.
Only you can make the right decisions for your life. Different generations tend to have different views on money. And as a general rule, risk appetite declines with age.
My financial views are quite similar to my parents, but they are much more cautious than I am when it comes to investing.
My parents where at different ends of the spectrum when it came to money. My dad could recite the balance of his accounts within a couple hundred dollars no matter how long he had last looked at his account. My mother on the other hand had some issues with credit cards. They tried to keep that information private so I never knew how bad it actually was but I knew enough to know it wasn’t pretty. Because of that I’ve tried to avoid falling into that type of trouble.
My Mom expects me to spend more money that I would like. I have to tune that out or it could certainly get me in trouble. It’s really funny in a way because she was very frugal when we were kids.
Generally a good concept though I have a 20 something that has already gone bankrupt once (so she was allowed to “hit the wall”) and as a dad I am helping her get back on the right path. About 2 years after her bankruptcy discharge (3 years ago) I provided the upfront cash to for her to have a secured credit card and after a good talking let her manage that on her own to rebuild her credit. 2 weeks ago she had maxed out that card, hadn’t paid her cell phone bill in 3 months and unable to pay either. I stepped in and took control and now review her bills each month. Otherwise she’s a good person but financially sometimes they don’t make it easy on themselves.