I feel very “Carrie Bradshaw” as I sit by our apartment window, watching car headlights go by as I write this post.
I’m fighting the urge to start my sentence with, “Later that evening as I sat by my window, I couldn’t help but wonder, ‘could new shoes really buy me happiness?’”
But I’ll save you from that.
Instead, I would like to seriously tap into questions surrounding materialism, and take a look at how we can all find a little more health, happiness and contentment in our lives.
How Does Materialism Affect Our Happiness?
As we all come off the consumeristic high of of the holidays, both our bank accounts and attitudes may be a bit dark. New toys, tools and gadgets have been excitedly unwrapped, but for many of us, weeks later, our happiness has more or less stayed the same.
Why is that? Doesn’t owning more make us more happy?
It can – to a certain point. The act of shopping, as it turns out, activates specific regions of the brain. According to Neurology Times, some of these regions provide positive feedback to bring about a sense of happiness, while others actually trigger a sense of pain and displeasure (like buyer’s remorse).
It can also depend on what you buy. In a study that was published in Psychological Science, researchers found that people were happier if they spent on things that matched their personality. If you’re an introvert, you may feel more lasting satisfaction with a new book, versus an extrovert that spends money on drinks with friends. Matching purchases with values increased peoples’ satisfaction rates.
Unfortunately, the “shopper’s high” never lasts long, which can leave us looking for more … and more.
A study by Todd Kashdan and William Breen, published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, found that materialistic people experience more negative emotion (such as fear and sadness), less positive emotion, and less meaning in their lives.
In trying to understand why materialism undermines our pursuit of happiness, scientists have honed in on the fact that more materialistic people report particularly low levels of gratitude.
This makes sense. Gratitude forces our minds to focus on the things we have, or the experiences we cherish. Materialism, on the other hand, turns our mind to what we have lacking.
Going shopping or wanting things isn’t necessarily a bad thing. The problem is when we turn to stuff to fill an uncomfortable space in our lives. Or we look to stuff to bring us happiness. Or even after all the purchases, we still have that nagging feeling like we’re just not enough. However, we can look somewhere else to help us feel more fulfilled, without having to spend a dime.
Read on to learn more about how gratitude plays a role in cultivating wealth.
What Does Wealth Have to Do With Mindset?
If I were to ask you to describe someone who is “wealthy,” what would you say? Someone with a big house, good-paying job, vacations, plush retirement account, savings account and spending money? Sure, but maybe wealth is something else…
I like to think of wealth as more of a feeling. A feeling of abundance, security, optimism, and confidence. An overflowing sense of peace and generosity. Having wealth is the opposite of lacking. It’s contentment.
Why is contentment important to building wealth?
When we feel content, we want less. When we want less, we spend less. When we spend less we can save more, and when we save more we have more freedom and confidence in our lives.
Contentment can help us build feelings of abundance and wealth, which manifests in actual savings.
I like to call this the ‘wealth mindset.’ It’s sort of like the glass-half full exercise. Instead of looking at everything around you and seeing the things you need, look around you and recognize the things you already have.
It’s training your brain to look at the positive, instead of the negative.
3 Ways to Cultivate a Wealth Mindset
Cultivating a wealth mindset is a lot harder than it sounds. We get so used to being in our own homogenous social networks, constantly comparing ourselves to the similar or aspirational lifestyles around us. Social media and digital advertising doesn’t make this any easier as tailored ads show us what we “need to buy” over and over and over again.
So what do we do? How can we become more self-aware and foster feelings of abundance? How do we start to recognize our own wealth more often? Use these suggestions.
1) Travel, Travel, Travel!
Absolutely nothing puts things into perspective like traveling. Especially if you go outside your comfort zone and leave the plushy pillow tops of your hotel bed. Travel to places with different people than you. Experience a different lifestyle. Watch how definitions of “wealth” change.
The first time I ever experienced a soul-grabbing change in my understanding of wealth, was when I spent a week in Nogales Mexico, helping build a daycare. We drove a school bus from Minneapolis to Nogales, shivering in the dark and sweating through the day. We drank Coke at meals because it was cheaper than water. I carried a tin of sawdust to the outhouse every morning. I played soccer on concrete with a deflated rubber ball. I also saw the proud look on kids’ faces when they’d score against us. And noticed how hard I slept after a full day of hammering.
I came home from that trip almost overwhelmed at the stuff I had at my disposal. Hot — and cold! – running water, a flushing toilet, grass to run in, clean water to drink, air conditioning, food choice after food choice. It was almost nauseating. In the days that followed, I no longer took all of that for granted, as my experience had brought me back to cherishing the basics.
I had a similar experience after I came home from my semester abroad in Spain. I had lived in a tiny apartment with a 50-year old woman; my host mom. It was clean and efficient and about the same as many other apartments in the area – nothing more, nothing less. My host mom thought her place was luxurious.
I remember coming home to my parent’s house in Minnesota and thinking, ‘holy crap, my host mom’s apartment would fit twice in here.’ My eyes were once again opened to the insane fact that we had a whole house to live in, with a yard! So much space! And yet, my mom would walk around the house complaining that our kitchen was too small or that we didn’t have enough storage.
That experience in my host mom’s apartment made me realize the power of comparison on a much bigger level. My mom was comparing her house to the neighbors’ houses, and the ones we saw on HGTV, and in her glossy home decor magazines. Could you imagine if all the ads we saw, and the TV shows we watched, showed the tiny apartments my host mom and her friends were in? How would that change how my mom felt about her storage? What type of mirror would it serve to her own lifestyle?
Travel can give us all a healthy dose of perspective.
2) Volunteer for a Cause
Similarly to travel, volunteering for the less fortunate can be a humbling experience, giving us perspective of our own situation. The Global One Foundation describes volunteering as a way to “promote a deeper sense of gratitude as we recognize more of what is already a blessing/gift/positive in our life.”
Giving back will also make you feel good. No, really. Studies show that when people donated to charity, the mesolimbic system, the portion of the brain responsible for feelings of reward, was triggered.
Try looking for volunteer events using a site like volunteermatch.com, or a local church.
3) Start a Gratitude Practice
Contentment starts in our minds. In fact, studies show that practicing daily gratitude leads to feelings of contentment. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.
Try starting your own daily practice of gratitude. It could be as simple as mentally naming the things you’re grateful for before bed, or taking five minutes to start a gratitude journal. Either way, make it a habit to see the greatest shift in your wealth mindset.
I hope these tips have reminded you to seek gratitude in your life, and be open to its effects. Having a wealth mindset is about changing your perspective to see the fullness around you, instead of the emptiness. This may not be feasible all the time, but it’s helped me take a step back, put the credit card away, and feel good.
What are ways you practice gratitude? How has travel changed your perception of enough? Share in the comments.
giulia says
Everyone dreamed to be Carrie Bradshow at least once in a lifetime, however I’m totally agrree with your point of view:D