This post is from our regular Wednesday contributor, Erin.
When you were younger, did you have unrealistic expectations of what your future house would look like? Or did your dreams come crashing down once you knew how much of a mortgage you were approved for?
Back in elementary school, I’d actually doodle floor plans for the grand mansion I’d eventually have built, complete with multiple indoor pools, waterfalls, an ice rink, a huge kitchen, fountains outside, and a wrought iron gate to get in.
Obviously I had big dreams. ;)
Little did I know how much that would actually cost (let alone cost to run – that’s a lot of water!). The grandeur of it all was just fun to think about.
Thankfully, I snapped out of that after a year or so. And while HGTV’s House Hunters does lure me in from time to time, I know better than to buy more house than I can afford.
I also know there are plenty of people who want to stretch their money when it comes to their dream homes, and I thought it would be interesting to see if anyone else’s vision of their dream house changed once they were actually in the market to buy.
Here’s how the vision for my dream house changed, and the reasons why I no longer want a mansion (besides the fact I can’t afford it!).
I Realized I Don’t Need Much Space
My fiancé and I lived in a little basement apartment before our current apartment. It was about 700 sq. ft. with one bedroom, one narrow bathroom, a kitchen area, and a living area. There were no hallways, it was just one space after another.
While we were slightly cramped (and also concerned that our cats didn’t have enough room to chase each other around, because that’s totally important), we probably could have made it work.
We then upgraded to a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom, 1,041 sq. ft. apartment that feels entirely too big. Most of that square footage is in the living room, which is open to the kitchen. It’s huge.
As a result, a second bedroom for my office was almost unnecessary. It’s nice to be able to get away from distractions, but right now the living room looks fairly barren because we decided we didn’t want to spend money on extra furniture.
It’s so easy to think more space will make you happier, but I’ve realized that’s not true in my case. Our apartment doesn’t feel cozy because it’s fairly empty.
My fiancé and I agree that if we opted for the one bedroom version of our apartment, we’d be perfectly fine.
As it stands, my dream house would be between 800-1,000 sq. ft, a far cry from the mansion I once envisioned!
Less Space Usually Means Less Clutter
We’re actually thinking of moving again, and with that comes the realization that I should simply get rid of half my stuff. Because that’s all it is: stuff.
I think most people feel they need lots of space for two reasons: kids, and stuff (and having toys can be half the problem).
Whenever I watch HGTV, someone is claiming they need more room because there’s not enough in their current place.
Meanwhile, things are strewn all over, and there’s no organization in their house. My guess is that if they pared down their belongings, in most cases, they’d be able to make do with what they have.
I’m not a minimalist by any means, but the thought of being able to pack up and move anywhere in just a few days is appealing to me.
Admittedly, I’ve been a bit of a packrat over the years. I’m not proud to admit it, but I’m finally seeing the error of my ways.
In the past, I had been afraid to get rid of things just in case I needed them, but now all that stuff is weighing on me. It feels like baggage. And there’s only one thing to do when that happens: get rid of it (or donate it)!
I’m also not a huge fan of cleaning. The less I can get away with, the better. Having more space tends to lend itself to clutter, which means more upkeep. No thanks.
Having a smaller house will force us to keep our things to a minimum. Plus, utilities are usually less, and I’m all for saving money on housing expenses!
Open Floor Plans Make a Huge Difference
One thing we’ve noticed since relocating to the south is that open floor plans are huge here. They’re becoming more and more popular for a reason – they make places feel bigger.
My dream house definitely consists of an open floor plan. I love the way our kitchen and living room take up one whole long section of our apartment. It’s convenient and lends itself well to entertaining.
Our living room also has a huge window, and in the morning, the light filtering in is refreshing. Windows (and mirrors) tend to make spaces feel larger than they are.
Having rooms closed off from one another makes houses feel cramped and isolated. I’d rather have a 1,000 sq. ft. open floor plan place than a 1,500 sq. ft. place with 20 different rooms.
Windows and open spaces are a must for me! I could never go back to living in a basement.
My Dream House Might Not Even Be a House I Own!
I think the biggest way the vision for my dream home has changed is that homeownership seems slightly overrated (at least to me).
Again, we don’t plan on having kids, and we don’t have any plans to buy a house in the near future because we want to be able to travel around.
If anything, I’m interested in buying an investment property to rent out, but I like the freedom and flexibility of renting right now.
I know I’m not alone in this, but it seems to be an unpopular opinion. I understand that others want the security of owning a home – it’s “permanent” and feels stable.
However, thinking about being a homeowner suffocates me. I don’t want to be chained to any one place right now. That could change in the future, but when some of my friends have already purchased homes, it feels like we’re going against the grain.
____________
I know common advice for buying a home is not to settle, but I don’t feel like I’m settling at all! Mortgages can be an enormous burden, and I’m very grateful I came to the above realizations before buying a home.
When I am ready to enter the market, I know I won’t be tempted to go beyond my budget, and my desire for a smaller house will (hopefully) mean needing a smaller mortgage.
Did the vision of your dream house change at any point? When, why, and how? Are you happy with your current living situation?
Check out some of our favorite personal finance resources:
Are you getting the best credit card rewards? Check out the top cash back credit card offers (updated daily)
Make extra money: 15 ways to make money from your computer
Get the First Chapter Free!
Join our online community and get the first chapter of the book Student Loan Solution absolutely FREE!
House Hunters is so dangerous ;)! Our first apartment was in a cramped basement too and it had the effect of making us eternally grateful to live above ground! Our “dream house” vision definitely changed once we were truly ready to buy our first place. We ended up going with the house that was the best investment. It was priced well under market and, it’s ideal for renting out, which is our long-term plan for this place.
It’s too big for us, but, the number of bedrooms will be good for attracting future renters. We’re searching now for our homestead property, which has been another exercise in being flexible with what we consider our “dream” homestead ;). Sounds like you’re in great shape should you decide to buy a place!
My
We enjoy watching shows like House Hunters, but it can get dangerous as we find it tempts us to want to upgrade when we really don’t need to. That said, our vision for what we want has changed a bit as well – we used to want something really big and now, we just want to be comfortable and size of a house doesn’t equate to satisfaction.
I have such a hard time deciding my dream house. Right now it’s just me, so the thought of a large house sounds intimidating. I don’t need much space to live in, but I love a lot of closet space. The thought of buying a ton of furniture sounds daunting!
What changed my view of my dream home was living in Japan. Everything here is smaller and you have to learn how to coexist with less space. What is amazing is the Japanese really know how to make small look luxurious. So I have learned that its not the size, but what you put in the home and how you decorate it. So I with you less space more fabulous is my plan.
My vision of my dream home has definitely changed. When I was a kid I used to play the Game of LIFE with my older sister and I always wanted to get the Victorian Mansion as my home in the game (and secretly in real life). Now that I know how much the ‘Victorian Mansion’ really costs, I realized it’s not really what I want anymore. I also realized I don’t need a ton of space and don’t plan on having anymore kids. Plus I don’t want to work the rest of my life and be stressed out trying to pay for a home that I can’t even afford. If I have to work all the time and can’t even enjoy my home, then it’s not worth it.
I used to imagine myself living in a McMansion for a long time and I have a good sized house now and realize I barely use much of it and it takes a lot of effort to clean more space not to mention heat and cool more space. Once my son graduates high school and we move, my ideal home is a lot smaller and probably a condo or apartment where I don’t have to worry about the repairs and upkeep that I do as a homeowner.
We currently live a multi unit building so I would say this is not my dream home, then again I don’t really know what is to be honest.
Yeah I probably at one point envisioned myself living in a pretty big house. There are some really cute beach cottage type places scattered throughout my area that I think are super cute. I agree that having an open floor plan can make a big difference. For me my upgrades from my current situation would be an office (not my kitchen table), a more updated kitchen and counter (freaking) space, bigger bedroom and closet, a washer and dryer IN my unit, and a dishwasher. Other than that I’m fairly content. lol! I just hate that everything in my current place is so old…like paint peeling old.
Great post, Erin!! First off, I completely agree with you on not wanting to own a home right now. In fact, I just did a blog post about that haha. Renting has been great! We’re not trapped, we can move if we want and we can budget our money easily because if something breaks, it’s not up to us to fix it.
My husband and I were talking about our “dream home” last night. Where once we wanted a huge house, we now want something cozy and comfortable. Ideally, it would be 2000-2300 square feet….a massive difference from 3500+ square feet we’ve wanted in the past. For us, renting a large home has been totally worth it and a total eye-opener. Price-wise our rent is almost the same as in the apartment, but our utilities have gone up and there’s just so much of this house that we don’t use. We LOVE the open floor plan though and I love that we have a play room for the girls, but it’s just a little toooo big. If we didn’t have kids, I would agree with you that 1000 square feet would be totally fine!
You guys are planning on moving?! Staying in Charlotte or going elsewhere?!
Your childhood dream house sounds pretty fun, although I would hate to the see the water bill! LOL! Ah, the things we never dream we have to consider when we are young! :) I’m sure there are things that have changed in my “dream house” over the years, but one thing consistent dream is being close to the beach. We recently just bought what I hope will be our forever home. We’re not on the water but we actually do have ocean views now. I’m a fan of open floor plans to as they definitely make a space seem larger.
I oscillate back and forth between desperately wanting more space, and being really happy that we don’t have too much space, or too much space to take care of, more precisely. Not having to deal with yard work and more carpet to vacuum and more things to dust and whatnot is really awesome!
If you have more space, you will fill it up! I think you’re making the best decision based on your goals. We could live in much less space, but it’s sure nice when there are two or three kids running around and we aren’t right on top of each other. Someday, we’ll downsize in a major way, but it’s all good for now.
Mrs. Frugalwoods I guess it’s not a bad thing to experience a basement apartment first, huh? =) I think when we do consider buying a house, we’ll do so in the same way – with renting it out in mind. You just never know, and it’s better to be safe! I can’t imagine having to adjust expectations when considering a homestead. There are so many factors involved!
holly3 Oh boy, I can’t even imagine having that much land! Neither my fiancé and I really want to dedicate time to yard work – I’d be happy with less property.
FrugalRules Yes, the temptation for upgrades is definitely there when watching HGTV! You get so conditioned thinking it’s “normal” to have amazing kitchens with granite countertops. Comfortable is a good way to put it!
believeinabudget Oh yes, closet space is nice to have! Our basement apartment had one little closet in the bedroom, but now we have a walk-in closet in our bedroom, and a decent closet in the guest room. It’s nice to be able to hang all of our clothes and still have room leftover.
Petrish @ Debt Free Martini I love that perspective Petrish! I’ve seen House Hunters International and I completely forgot that most of the time, other countries typically have smaller living spaces. Decorating and how you place furniture really does have a big impact on things.
Chonce I like that last sentiment, Chonce. I agree that it’s not worth it to have to continue working to be able to afford your house. That’s the predicament my parents found themselves in, and when my dad was laid off, it was just a matter of time before they retired. Worrying about how to pay the mortgage is so stressful.
blonde_finance I think condos/apartments are great to “downsize” to once you have an empty nest. I was surprised to see so many older couples in our apartment complex at first, but less maintenance and upkeep is the way to go, and just makes sense.
EvenStevenMoney It can be really overwhelming to decide where you want to live for the rest of your life! That’s kind of why I’m happy with renting – if I get tired of something, I can always move and change my living space.
Beachbudget Oh I love beach cottages! There’s a few near my parents that are pastel colored and adorable (though they have a hefty price tag, of course). Even though our basement apartment was small, it was new, and I think that made a huge difference. It’s not fun living in a place that feels ancient, that’s for sure. Having counter space has been one of the nicest things about living here!
Sarah Brooks I think the way you went about things was great, and I eventually want to get my feet wet by renting a home that’s similar to what I want to own. It’s a nice way of trying it out without having to commit! I’d actually rather rent a house, as dealing with apartment parking and loud neighbors isn’t the best.
We’re looking elsewhere long-term, but we were originally thinking of downgrading to a 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom apartment when our lease is up. Unfortunately, the math didn’t work out – it’s actually cheaper to stay where we are and eat the increase in rent.
ShannonRyan Haha, seriously! I had no knowledge of utility bills back then. =) Ah, I can’t imagine how nice having an ocean view is!! That’s always been calming to me. I’d love to wake up to a spectacular view someday, whether it’s the mountains or the beach. It’s nice to start your day off right with that. Congratulations on the purchase!
moneypropeller I’m with you on less yard work, vacuuming, and dusting! It can be hard to strike a balance with space. Like I said, our basement apartment did feel tiny, but there were definitely things I could have gotten rid of or changed to make the place more livable. It can be easier to upgrade (at least as far as renting goes) instead of do a complete overhaul.
Eyesonthedollar Very true, Kim! Having more space is tempting to a lot of people. I’m glad I’ve been against that, but our apartment is temporary, so it never made sense to purchase extra furniture to fill the space up when we’ll be moving eventually.
Yep. I love the grand, large houses. But down here in Phoenix, bigger means higher utility bills. Especially two-story houses! My husband likes to remind me it would also be a lot more to clean.
I wish our place were a little bigger so that our rooms could be a little, well, roomier. But it suits our needs, and if we do have children it’ll be just one. So three bedrooms is plenty.
AbigailP It’s good to be mindful of utility bills, as those can really start to add up when you live in a larger home! I hear you on wishing rooms were bigger. While the house I grew up in was 3 bedrooms, and I was an only child, we found ourselves wishing the bedrooms and bathrooms were just a little larger.
The house we have now, in some respects, is too big already. It is only 1300 square feet. The big thing that we wish we had was more closet space. Partly because my wife does have lots of clothes, but our home is over 100 years old and the closet space is extremely limited. In fact, before we bought the place the person who owned used the third bedroom as her closet. That to me is way too much!
j3edwards Ha, oh wow, I can’t imagine using a bedroom as a closet! But I do hear you on that – closet space can be really important. I wouldn’t mind sacrificing some of the living space we do have for more closet space. That would actually free up some space as we wouldn’t have to use dressers!
We bought our house a little over three years ago.It’s in my husband’s childhood neighborhood and I agreed to live there, temporarily.The house is fairly small, with only three bedrooms, and we want to have four children.The third one will be here in the next month or so, and now I’m trying to figure out how to make our house work for as long as possible . . . because I learned to love it!
I assumed that they would each need their own rooms from the beginning, but the kids are small right now, so they don’t need as much space.They don’t spend a ton of time in their rooms.And Goofball seems pretty excited to share his room with the new baby.So we’ll see how long we can make it last.
Harmony@CreatingMyKaleidoscope I hope you can make it work! It’s great that they’re okay with sharing rooms for now. Milk that for all it’s worth as long as you can, right? =)
We bought our home almost 3 years ago with the plan of actually buying a much larger home within 10 years. I have realized that home ownership is MUCH more to handle than I realized. I wouldn’t change a thing about our decision, but I definitely don’t want a larger home.
Since our home purchase, I’ve realized that I am very happy with the size of our home and it will be perfect for raising kids in (our daughter is 8-months-old). Enough room for everyone to have their own space (we have a ranch with an enormous basement), but not so much that I am completely overwhelmed by maintaining it.
I think that if we didn’t plan on having kids at any point, we probably would have reconsidered buying a home as well. I don’t blame you at all in your decision, it’s certainly not for everyone!
EmbracingSimple Thanks for sharing how things changed for you! Interesting that you say it’s more to handle than you originally thought. Considering being a home owner is a “given” in our culture, it seems easy to think that’s what we should aim for, without taking the time to think it through.
After this move to Florida we’re seriously down to the point where we could hop in an RV and travel around forever. It took a LONG time to get Jay to this point. But he’s on board now! I think in about a year we’re going to adopt the RV lifestyle and let our wanderlust roam free! I’m glad you figured out what you really want Erin. That’s so important to do as early as possible in life. :)
kay ~ lifestylevoices.com That’s awesome, Kay! Having the freedom to travel and explore is great. Going around in an RV sounds appealing, but I’m not sure how long I’d last. Maybe that will change in a few years, who knows. Can’t say I have everything figured out, but I do know what I *don’t* want. =)