This post is from our regular contributor, Erin.
How many of you have felt stressed by the prospect of dating because of limited finances?
You might be worried your car is too embarrassing to be seen in (or maybe you can’t even afford a car), that you can’t afford to go to an upscale restaurant, or that you can’t swing the price of movie tickets and a bar tab afterward.
Dating can be stressful when you’re young and just out of college. Student loan debt might be eating up a lot of your income, and you’re trying to juggle living on your own with finding a decent paying job…all while wondering how you’re going to meet someone.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I figured it’s a good time to share some of my personal experiences with you today on how to go on a date without spending any money, mostly because my fiancé (referred to as “R”) and I were in a similar position when we first started dating.
We couldn’t afford fancy restaurants, we only went to the movies when tickets were half-off, and most of our time together was spent at college scoring free food from events.
Know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with staying frugal while dating. If you meet someone unimpressed by your ability to find free things to do, it’s their loss, right?
With that said, here are a few ways to go on a date for free.
Get to Know Each Other…Talk!
Is this a lost art? You could simply spend the night just talking to each other, outside of a restaurant, coffee shop, or bar.
R and I had so many nights of talking way past midnight (still in college) in my car as I dropped him off after our frugal dates.
I’d argue that part of the night was more fun than our actual date at times, because we were just getting to know each other.
Cars aren’t the most comfortable place to converse, of course. There’s nothing wrong with having a picnic in a park and bringing your own food and drinks. There’s also nothing wrong with inviting each other over to cook dinner together.
These intimate moments lead to a great foundation on which to build a relationship.
I’d like to connect this back to personal finance for a second. Since it was pretty obvious money was tight for us, R and I had no issues talking about money. We confided in each other about our situations, and we also discussed our past experiences with money.
I think frugal dates provide couples with a great opportunity to make sure they’re on the same page when it comes to finances. Better to find out sooner than later!
Share in Favorite Hobbies
Hopefully you and your date have a decent amount in common, so this shouldn’t be hard. Figure out a common interest you both have, and find a way to experience it together for free.
For example, R and I both love video games, and there were many days we spent playing them together. Because we already had the consoles and games, we didn’t have to pay a dime.
Do you both have a love for history? Take a walk through an older part of your city and play tour guide, each sharing information about the significance of certain sites.
Love movies, but don’t want to take the boring path of watching one together? Discuss them instead! This can go for TV shows, too.Sometimes talking about them and comparing your thoughts can be more fun than watching in silence, and it can lead to some fun debates.
What about music? Do you both play an instrument (or sing)? Write a song together, cover a song you both like together, or enjoy listening to nostalgic music together. Heck, you could make it interesting and have a dance party by yourselves.
If you both love running, walking, or fitness in general, challenge each other to a competition! See who can beat each other in a race, hold a plank the longest, do the most sit-ups, etc. It’s a great solution for those that have a bit of a competitive streak! Or you could always take it “easy” and go for a hike.
Do you both have dogs? See if they’ll play nice together and go to a dog park for a few hours. Bonding over pets is always fun (at least I think so).
No Hobbies In Common? Learn Together
If you don’t have a free hobby in common, don’t fret – see if you each have one that the other would be interested in learning about.
For example, R was clueless when it came to cooking, and while I don’t love it, I was more than happy to teach him the basics.
Another example? I’m a horrible artist when it comes to drawing, but R is pretty talented. I actually enjoy watching him create something from nothing on paper, and if he had the patience, I’d ask him to teach me. =)
Likewise, he enjoys learning about Photoshop from watching me play around in it. You could always figure out a way to combine your love for two different hobbies as well.
Better yet – maybe you both want to learn a skill that neither of you have. Look up tutorials and go through them, or start a DIY project together!
Focus on Making a Connection
I think as long as you’re focused on connecting with each other in a meaningful way, you can ditch the expensive date ideas without much care.
When I first met R, he didn’t have a car, he was working part-time at a grocery store, and he didn’t have much to speak of in terms of savings.
In fact, his student loan payments had just kicked in, and I was still in college.
I won’t lie – it was tough in the beginning, but I actually remember our “free” dates more fondly than I remember our “paid” dates.
Money being tight forces you to get creative, and that’s not a bad thing. There are so many free entertainment options available that you’re guaranteed to find something to do together.
Going to the park and spending time in nature is always a favorite of mine, because it lends itself well to being a distraction-free zone. Unplugging and spending time together sounds better than going to a bar and trying to shout over the music to hear each other.
________________
Dates don’t have to be super expensive to be memorable. If you’re a money-conscious person in general, you’ll want to be with someone who can appreciate that.
How have you dated on a budget? What’s your ideal way to spend time with your other half for free?
Check out some of our favorite personal finance resources:
Are you getting the best credit card rewards? Check out the top cash back credit card offers (updated daily)
Make extra money: 15 ways to make money from your computer
Get the First Chapter Free!
Join our online community and get the first chapter of the book Student Loan Solution absolutely FREE!
I think going for a walk or just finding a place to talk is the perfect first date. I know its so 1930s but I don’t care
My husband and I don’t really date anymore, but we do love our evenings at home. We watch HULU or play board games with the kids. I love free nights in!
We still make it a priority to have regular dates and a huge part of that is doing them frugally. Some of our more favorite ones are getting a sitter and making dinner together or just playing a board game. It costs very little and we get quality time together.
I’m shamelessly open about my finances, obviously having a finance blog helps. From date 1 I told my bf where I stood on spending money.
I think cooking dinner for your date or taking a walk together are pretty good free dates. Back when I was dating, I always thought it was ridiculous to spend lots of money on dates (I know many people who did this to impress the ladies). But do you really want someone to like you because of that reason?
Great ideas, you’re taking me back with this Erin! I met my significant other in college and we often hung out at school and a lot of campus events. He took me out a few times in the beginning, then when I wanted to make it clear that I liked him regardless of how much money he had at the time and whether he could take me out or not, I started inviting him over for dinner and movie nights. It became our weekly date. To this day, we still enjoy dinner and movie nights along with game nights. Most of our frugal and free dates are at home, free community events or at the gym.
Great tips, Erin! Mr. Frugalwoods and I have always gone on frugal dates (no surprise there) and I think our relationship has become stronger because of it. Like you and R, we were poor college students when we started dating, so we were always looking for free/cheap things to do together. And we’ve just never stopped operating in that way! It’s made life more interesting and has facilitated helpful conversations about our finances too.
My wife and I were just having this discussion this morning. So instead of getting a sitter and going out tonight, we’re ordering in.
Debtfreemartini Same here!
Holly at ClubThrifty Free nights in are definitely the best, along with board games!
FrugalRules I think focusing on quality time becomes even more important once kids are in the picture. I imagine it can be a little hard getting peace and quiet at times!
brokeandbeau I’m with you there. I have no qualms letting my personal finance nerdiness come out! Pretty sure blogging would get brought up quickly, too. =)
Andrew LivingRichCheaply Exactly, Andrew. I would rather find someone with similar monetary values, and if they want to go all out on a first date, that would probably overwhelm me. That gets expensive!
Chonce Aw, that’s so cute! I really do think the best dates are the simple ones. Finding free events around town is a great idea, too.
Mrs. Frugalwoods It’s interesting to think about meeting people in different stages of your life. I have to wonder if that has a big impact on things! Even as we both got raises, we still did the same things for fun. No “dating inflation” here!
Mark@BareBudgetGuy Ha, that’s great Mark! It’s an easy way to cut down on spending, but I do believe that there are also times when it’s worth it to have time to yourselves.
My hubby and I love to have date nights in bed where we share a bottle of cheap wine and watch a free movie on Netflix and Hulu Plus. It’s especially nice in the winter because we don’t even have to go out in the cold. :-)
My hubby loves to have a few beers and play cards with his friends. We don’t go out as much now that we’re parents. While this has helped us save money, he definitely misses card games with his friends. So, I learned how to play a few of his favorites. It’s not exactly the same, but it makes him happy and gives us something free to do together <3
blonde_finance I like your thinking, Shannon! I’d much rather stay in and snuggle than brave the cold right now.
Harmony@CreatingMyKaleidoscope Aw, that’s so nice you learned a few of his favorite card games! I kind of did the same, as my fiance loves a genre of video games I never liked before, but I decided to have fun with it and laugh at myself while failing. He doesn’t mind that I drag the team down. =P
Great tips. I am beyond the dating game for a while, but walks, cooking a chicken in the oven, stir fry, etc. are all cheap and pretty easy things to do. Follow that with a bottle of wine and you look like Lance Romance on steroids.
Going to a club is/was fun, but very expensive.
No Nonsense Landlord Haha, I can’t say I mind it when people cook for me. =) Going out every night definitely adds up after a while.
Hmm interesting perspectives here Erin.. Really refreshing though actually to see that there are people out there who think a bit in this way..
Must admit we are probably in the minority, although this isn’t necessarily a bad thing! :)
I actually enjoy picnics, going for drives, the beach and all of those sort of things that really aren’t that expensive.. You’re right as well though it should simply be about getting to know the person too! :)
Great ideas Erin! They’re not for everyone, but what is? I always enjoyed dates where you were just getting to know each other without a lot of people around. Too distracting. I always felt so awkward when a guy was paying big bucks on a date. But I know some girls only liked that.
mycareercrusade I like to think more people would be happy with simple dates if they gave it a try! I’m with you on picnics, drives, and the beach – all things I’ve done in the past (though the beach did require a parking fee, boo!).
kay ~ lifestylevoices.com I agree with you – I once had a guy ask me to dinner, and he just wasn’t my type. My friends encouraged me to at least get a free meal out of it. Um, what?! Dates have never been about the amount of money spent (to me). I can’t relate with that thinking at all.
Erin @ Journey to Saving mycareercrusade damn you guys have it tough over there ;).. You can usually find free parking at beaches over here, provided you’re happy to walk a bit, which I don’t mind :)
I find that I start to run out of steam when it comes to ideas that do not involve spending money. My dream weekend date involves going out of town and good golly do the costs add up horrendously! Learning something new together is always fun, especially because both people tend to suck at the beginning and you get to laugh at each other as a result.
moneypropeller Ha! Yes, that’s definitely the best benefit of learning new things together. Weekend getaways are always nice to look forward to, though I agree – between transportation and accommodations, they can get pricey.
Now that we live together, I feel now and again we need to have those “date” nights or days. Once in awhile, we’ll go to the movies. Since the snacks are SO EXPENSIVE at the movie theatre, we’ll sometimes make a trip to the grocery store and purchase a few snacks there. We most recently went on a weekend skiing getaway. Rather than stay on the resort for over $200 a night, we found a hotel about a 20 min drive from the resort with significantly cheaper rates.
MakintheBacon When we used to go to the movies I never had reservations about bringing in some snacks! Either that or we ate beforehand. I hope you had fun skiing! Finding places to stay away from the resorts is one of the best ways to save.
Wow Erin @ Journey to Saving !
Another great article! Good work! :D