Today we have a post from Shannon, a regular contributor.
I have mentioned on my blog that in the past, I had a bad case of lifestyle inflation when I worked in investment banking and a term for this could also be Affluenza or the proclivity for over-consumption and keeping up with the Joneses.
Affluenza is something that is highly prominent in certain geographic areas but also in certain industry areas like investment banking, law and medicine. It is a terrible affliction to have, but the good news if you have it is that there is a cure. Or at least, I have found myself officially cured from it.
In the past, I used to shop mindlessly. I didn’t think about keeping up with things like coupons or waiting for sales. Who had the time for those annoyances? Besides, coupons could only save you a dollar here and there. I thought that a dollar was just pocket change that could be lost, a rounding error. After realizing that I wanted more in life than just essentially living paycheck to paycheck, and taking the path to financial health and well-being, all of the sudden, I put my spending habits under the microscope and I started viewing everything differently.
Financial Health = A Marathon
I like to think of my road to financial health as a marathon. The old me thought that every financial decision was just a mini race. So every day, every week, every year I was on a mini race for my numbers to make sense. I never thought of each decision as part of a longer race and how each decision impacted the results of my race. When I became more focused on my financial health, I started viewing each purchase as a hurdle that was keeping me from my financial goals.
I have now gotten to the point where I almost detest spending. I can’t remember the last time that I paid full price for anything. In fact, I recently had to buy a dress for an event. So I went to my new favorite store, TJMaxx, and I spent two hours sifting through every last rack in the store. At the end of the rummaging, I decided on a black dress that cost $19.95. It’s a beautiful dress with lots of future use potential; however, as I was standing in line waiting to pay, I had an inner debate with myself about whether or not I should buy the dress.
I was still arguing with myself when it was my turn to approach the open register. I paid for the dress with cash, got in my car and sat there for 5 minutes debating on whether or not I should return the dress. I ultimately kept the dress because it was actually less than I had budgeted ($29.99), it is a versatile dress that will get lots of use, and it was originally $129.99 (or at least that is what TJMaxx said it was).
When I realized I was Cured
So why do I share this story about my newfound crazy aversion to spending? Because it was in that moment in the car that I realized that I was officially cured of my Affluenza. For me, the cure for Affluenza was a mindset shift from short-term races to a long-term marathon. If you are running short-term races trying to keep up with the Joneses, then you are more likely to spend and make stupid choices with your money.
If you think of your race as a marathon, then you know like any runner, that you have to run your own race. 26 miles is a long journey and you will run out of steam and energy if you spend most of that time worried about the runners around you then how you are performing. It is the same way with money. If you spend your money based on others, you will find yourself out of money and resources by the time you get to the end of your race (aka retirement).
Most people who run a marathon do not finish and ask what their time was in the hope that they were at the top of the list. They finish the race and celebrate the fact that they were able to finish the race and they are still on their feet. Your financial journey is the same way. Set your own goals and run your own race. You will not only stay focused on what is important to you and your family, but also you will cure yourself of any potential case of Affluenza that you may be feeling.
Have you or anyone you know suffered from Affluenza? How did you combat it?
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I feel like everyone where I live suffers from Affluenza in some way. I probably did in the past, but not anymore.
I don’t know if I dealt with this in the past or not, but I was spending like crazy. Anyway, I’ve swung to the other end and hate spending money as well. Even if we have the amount budgeted and set aside for a given item it still drives me crazy to have to spend most times. But, I’d much rather deal with that as opposed to the opposite. :)
Holly at ClubThrifty I definitely live in a neighborhood that is filled with cases of it and I think the contamination issues are more prevalent, so it’s awesome that you did not succumb to it even though it is all around you.
FrugalRules Totally agree John!! I was exactly the same way that’s why I hate to hear people say that they “can’t” change their ways. I am definitely living proof of it.
I debate purchases like that all the time. I used to buy stuff, like clothes and I didn’t even matter if I felt so-so about what I was buying..I still bought it and it sat with the tags on forever in my closet. Now I’m much more diligent about what I buy. I sit in the dressing room forever visualize all the things I can wear said outfit to and how it will match up with other things. So I guess I’m somewhat cured? :)
Beachbudget Ha! I totally think you are cured! I think half the battle is just becoming mindful of what you are spending and why you are spending it.
I notice a marked difference between when I walk into a retail store now vs when I did a year ago. A year ago, I’d be tempted by everything, thinking how beautiful it all looked. Now I just think of how much effort and work it would take to maintain everything. The only thing I still struggle with is impulse food buys. I LOVE a good cup of artisan coffee or a taco.
brokeandbeau Ha! I love how you talk about the taco influencing you. At least it is a $3 temptation vs. a $30 temptation.
I love this, Shannon! I am so much happier knowing that my mindset has changed, like yours has. It’s been worth it for me and it sounds like it has for you, too! Nice work!
i am with you shannon.. i have undergone a serious shift in my own thinking over the course of the last few years. if i make a purchase today, i know exactly how i am going to pay for it… and if i can’t get that sorted out.. it doesnt get bought.
I know I was suffering from this a couple of years ago. But now I identified other priorities and no longer feel like I want to buy just anything. It definitely is a mind shift thing and understanding that the money can be used for better purposes such as getting out of debt and retirement savings.
theFinancegirl Good for you Natalie! It is great to know that a mindset shift can yield great financial results.
seedebtrun Congrats on your success! It is definitely not a easy process to shift your decision making process, but once you do, it’s amazing how your financial picture changes.
Raquel@Practical Cents It is definitely about prioritizing Raquel and I think that we don’t always view every choice as part of a prioritization process even though it is.
I used to have this! I used to shop to make myself feel better if I was bummed out, or worse, shop when I was bored. I thought I “deserved” to have nice things. Now I know that what I deserve more than “things” is a secure financial future and the possibility to retire before the twilight years of my life. I also hate spending these days and try to avoid buying “stuff.”
I do think it is more prevalent in certain industries. When I worked for a financial services company, my bosses absolutely loved to spend money and make sure it showed. Fancy cars, custom made suits, all that jazz. I don’t really like spending, either, and I totally would have had the same internal debate! As it is, I have a wedding to go to in July, and I’m wondering if any of my current dresses will do the trick.
I wanted to be a teacher, so I always thought I’d have to struggle with money. I really have no desire for expensive cars or designer clothing. But I do occasionally think “I earned enough! I deserve it!” even though I am in debt. Hopefully I’m starting to find a cure now!
colormefrugal It is definitely easy to rationalize that we deserve things and when we do too much of that, it leads to lots of other troubles down the road. And you are right, you definitely deserve a secure financial future more than stuff.
JourneytoSaving Ha! The financial services sector is filled with lots of peacocks that like to show their feathers, and now I just look at them and feel sorry for them. I hear you on the dress! That was exactly my issue.
fitisthenewpoor My hubby is a teacher and when we met, I asked him if he had an issue if I made more money than him and he said “I’m a teacher, everyone makes more money than me.” It is a really sad thing, but that’s a whole other post. I rationalized a lot of “I deserves” but now realize the deserves are just making my financial health journey longer and more painful.
Hey Shannon, I’ve definitely been an overspender in the past. I cured it by looking at my annual cost of stupid things. Things like beer, impulse buys and more were costing me a ton. I just didn’t notice until I actually did the math. These days, I’m a saver, not a spender!
Joshua Rodriguez Stupid things and impulse buys definitely add up over time. It really is surprising and sometimes it just takes simple math for it to make sense to us. So happy you have changed your ways!
I like the analogies and I love the word affluenza! I’m going to use that when talking to my family LOL. You definitely have to plod along like it is a marathon or a new way of eating, drawing on your stamina I think I’m cured but never say never, I guess. I don’t have the desire to shop, for one. But like an ex-smoker, I could be one puff away from a spending meltdown. Actually, I like the new me better, so I take that back. ;-)
debt debs Ha!! I love that you compare yourself to an ex-smoker who is one puff away from a smoky spiral of doom. :-) I know what you mean, though, but I think the longer you practice financial health, the easier it becomes.
Shannon —
Thank you for the post, however I am noticing the ambiguity in the definition of the term “Affluenza”. I have seen the term used to indicate someone who is wealthy and believes that they are better than someone who is less fortunate, or that believes that their money can excuse their behavior (i.e. the teen that killed four people while drunk driving).
You gave us a picture of your mental journey, but did you use any tools to help you along the way (coupons, budget, etc?) In reference to the end goal being retirement — do you use a ‘trainer’ as professional runners do? What advice would you have for those of us that are ‘still sitting on the couch’ — I could go on for days with these analogies :)
Shannon, wonderfully put!!! I love how you said you almost detest spending now. We are at that same place, and it’s a great feeling, isn’t it?? Also love what you said about your financial health being a marathon; it sure does make a difference when you’re thinking long-term. :-)
Laurie TheFrugalFarmer Thanks Laurie! Isn’t it funny how we have changed from spenders to detesters? :-) It actually feels great to have a long-term mindset and makes my decision-making process easier because I know what is important.
I still struggle from time to time, but I am so much better than I used to be! I didn’t have a clue what was coming in or out when I was younger. Now I am on a path to financial health. I’m not there yet, but I’m walking towards it.
deardebt It’s a long journey Melanie, but as long as you are on the path, then you are so much further ahead than most people!
I remember the days of those “mini races” where I just needed to make the numbers work until the next payday….then I’d start all over. That sucked HARD. Working on your financial health and long term future is much easier when you get a “big picture” perspective. :)
Interesting that you should mention about shopping. What I have read a lot about is if you wait a few weeks and still want the item then you should buy it, what are your thoughts on this?
I go through phases of spending and not spending… which I think is normal. Overall I’m so much better than I used to be. I think long term travelling helps as I can’t carry that much stuff so I am already limited by that!
DebtChronicles The mini races are really an awful way to live, you constantly feel exhausted. It is so much better to get the big picture, it really does alleviate a lot of the stress of making money decisions.
WealthWayOnline I think phases are natural for any of us, and as long as they balance out on the positive side over time, then we will get ahead on our money.
I definitely used to be much more of a sprinter than a marathoner. I’d save for little things I wanted but not see the bigger picture of how much I could be saving (retirement and otherwise) if I wasn’t buying “stuff”. I’m very thankful now to be debt-free and saving for the long term.